I have been dealing with Sciatic Nerve Pain for over three weeks now and it has been an eye opening journey. Part of me tells me, “maybe you should get up off your tail and do more” or another part says, “sit your behind down somewhere because you’re always running”. It has been pretty hilarious and very painful I might add. I have never experienced this kind of pain before, even after having five children, the contractions were less than half the pain of this mess. I’ve been researching ways to take care of it without spending money, I don’t have, at a chiropractor or doctor’s office. I was tempted on several occasions to go to the emergency room; but I would talk myself out of it because of the medical bills I already have. I took some Aleve, didn’t help; so I just endured the pain. If it’s wasn’t going to work, I refused to subject the lining of my stomach to any damage. I did what most of us do and went to You Tube and Google. You Tube’s Brad and Bob offered some pretty good suggestions so I started stretching and I could feel some improvement. I realized how much more painful it was to sit than stand and fortunately I have the desk that raises at work; so standing helped a lot. So, I have been stretching everyday and dancing. I love dancing, that is my main motivation for working out.
But this morning, as I was stretching and dancing; I remembered how old I am. You’re probably thinking, what does age have to do with it? Well, I’ve been hearing how important it is to strengthen and build our muscle mass at this age. So I figured I better incorporate some weights slowly but surely and then I started to do some leg lifts and realized how freaking heavy my legs and thighs are. I was like, shoot if I lift both of my legs on a daily my strength could be phenomenal. (Laughing loudly at myself, thick thigh ahhhh). Then it really started to dawn on me, especially since I’m in a season of my life where the Lord has me reflecting on my whys behind my whats. My motives for why I did the things I did in the past. I was truly one that wanted my Father to be proud of me and I wanted to do everything in “my” power to please Him. Never taking the time to sit back and receive His grace. Also how I didn’t have to do anything to get Him to love and accept me. In this season, He has me reflecting on His second commandment (Mark 12;31) love your neighbor as you love yourself. The biggest part of giving to others was missing; as I would my self. I didn’t take time to strengthen me, I didn’t sit down long enough for Him to minister to me. I would sit at the table and eat and never savor. I would never digest my food, because I quickly wanted to give what He gave me to somebody else. Regurgitating and Bulimia are both unhealthy for us humans. I have had time to truly savor the acceptance and love my Daddy has for me. Dare to Be Daughtered was a campaign He gave me two years ago; but it was for me. It was a campaign for me to sit back and be daughtered and take time to lie in His bosom.
Lift “yourself” in His grace, His wisdom, and His love, but RELAX in knowing He made loving yourself a second commandment to loving Him with all of your heart and soul. I love you.
No Need for Appraisal 